it has to do with everything

Some days Frank Lister feels as though he has dried up. This is supposed to be a daily thing right? Isn't that what life is all about. Everyday something exciting, nice, crazy, sad, intense, or whatever is supposed to happen which would enable one to wax philosophic about it for others to see or hear or experience. Isn't that what being cursed with creativity is supopsed to be all about? See for years now I have found myself cursed with dry spots. Not normal, "it hasn't rained in a week" dry spots but "i have watched television for 3 weeks solid becasue I can;t gather enough sanity in my mind in order to string together a coherent idea or thought" dry spot. And being a shitty magician does not help at all. To be honest (which is not to imply that I have not been honest previously) I haven't really spoken to anyone ( who am I kidding, I make it sound like I have a lot of options of people to speak to). I haven't spoken to Bryce (or Ted for that matter) in a week. I find myself with racing thoughts again (not thoughts of racing). See what happens (at least with me) is that the thoughts and ideas come in waves. In most people the waves crash and the ideas flood the shore line and then they recede to make room for the next wave of waves. With me, it is as if there is a barrier, a reef of sorts that casue the ideas to crash before they hit the shoreline and then build up. Then when the weather patterns change or shift all of the ideas (waves) come rushing towards the shoreline and then crash debilitating the beach tourism economy. In other words, the ideas and thoughts hit like a hurricane and destroy everything in its path leaving no trace of what was there to begin with. At the end of the day, this has to do with failure or a fear of it. Today has nothing to do with Bryce or Ted or work or mom or dad or anything. It has to do with everything. Right now I feel like a blank piece of paper, waiting for someone to write on me. If creativity is a vampire and needs to be invited in my house I say come on in, the door is open and there is cold beer in the fridge.