balls

Frank Lister is sorry for the delay. If you are interested in the details of what happened:


Anyway, the bathroom was empty (remember I was on my way to the can at Tattooed Mom’s on Monday Night with Bryce-not going to the bathroom with him but you know what I mean!). I barreled through the door in the graffiti littered bathroom room(apparently a lot of people want you to know that they do their business here), felt around for the light, and watched the bulb crackle and pop and flash a beam of light directly into my eyes. For a second I was blind. All I could see were spots and sparkles. Then the lights flickered again. On and then off again really fast. Then it started to happen over and over and over like a strobe light. Now for anyone that has been to Tattooed Mom’s the music is also something of note. Generally it is punk rock (of an older nature). Sometimes they play some older Hip Hop or even novelty Hip Hop (that usually only happens later on Saturday Nights). Regardless the music is kept a fairly low volumne to encourage talking amongst the patrons (and probably because the main waitress is mean and is making them keep it low). But what happened while I was standing in the strobe light bathroom was really weird. The music got insanely loud. Almost turned into noise. It was fast. Racing (this time like nascar). The same sounds over and over, in time with the lights which were flashing over and over and over. On. Off. On. Off. Everything was flashing and pulsing fast. I couldn’t find myself anywhere. I forgot where I was. I didn’t know how to move or to turn away but I kept moving towards something even though my feet never felt like they left the sticky ground. In the midst of all of the noise I felt my ears burn. My eyes felt like they were going to pop out. Why did I come here in the first place? Everything was spiraling out of control. I feel like I fell on the ground for a minute. I climbed back up (I think I fell down into the basement). Why isn’t anyone helping me? I got back on my feet. There was something clear moving towards my eyes. I could hear it coming towards me. Getting closer and closer and closer. It strolled right past me. It said something but I couldn’t make out what it was. But what I could understand is that I started to hear the slowness underneath the fast static. I started to be able to see between the flashes of light. Underneath all of the chaos was this calming white noise and gentle grey glow. It looked like the shore of the ocean, filled with sand and rocks and dead jellyfish(or syringes). Moving and flowing with the water heading back out to a black voided ocean. I looked behind me and could see the static and the flashes of light (kind of like when you go to shore and you are on the beach at night and all of the noise and chaos seems so far away even though it is right around you). For whatever reason I felt nothing. I heard nothing. There was nothing in my head anymore. I was out of control. Not crazy out of control but NOT IN CONTROL. I was just there being moved and swept away. Just there. Smack. Door slams behind me. Lights come on. Noise stops. Low volume Buzzcocks on speakers. TED taking a pisser in the bathroom. WHAT? YES! TED taking a PISSER in the bathroom that I thought was EMPTY because it WAS (or at least I think it was, I don’t know anymore). TED. He flushes. Washes his hands. Walks up to me (I’m standing with my back against the door) and says “Hey Frank. Pretty cool huh?” I step out of the way and he opens the door and leaves. Just like that. Did this happen before, during, or after I got cross eyed drunk with Bryce? Can’t remember (again with the memory loss).

All of this because…..work e-mail party planning. He sucker fished his way onto my e-mails balls.


this is nothing similar to what it was like.