Tapes

Frank Lister apparently threw his calendar out of the window after setting it on fire.  At least, that is what my neighbor said that I did.  I seem to be losing days again.  I will wake up one morning and not know where I've been or what I've done but I will feel as though I have had memories of that time.  I will be able to tell you what I've done or where I've gone or who I talked to or even what I said but I can;t tell you when I did or said or saw it.  I just know that it happened between the last day I remember and the day that I am telling you.  For instance, I woke up this morning and thought that I had already reported back to you on this but in fact there was no evidence that I had done this.  But it was so very clear and vivid that I had.  I checked and the last thing I had posted was on 4-22.  Even stranger is I don't remember taking a break between 4-1 and 4-22.  But I did.  Go back.  Look.  There is nothing posted between those dates.  I reported nothing between those dates.  What is weirder is I think that I have already told you all of this once or maybe I just think that I thought about telling you this.  I really do not know.
I am still being stopped on the street (or at least I think that is what is happening to me) and being congratulated.   I saw my picture on the cover of a magazine here in the city (I think I did).  I was holding up a contract and shaking some dudes hand.  Seeing this bugged me out because I really don't remeber that happening.  Even scarier is I have no idea what was on that paper that I was holding up.  People keep wanting to shake my hand and then they say "Show Me!  I want to see!"  I don't know what this means (but I think I should know).  I usually just look at them, smile and say "I can't right now.  I need to do this in a controlled environment.  call my office and set up a time or catch me at the next show."    Call my office?  I don;t have an office.  A show?  I am a kids magician and a really shitty one at that & there is no way I am having a show anywhere, especially one that will have adults as the main audience.  But why did I say this and how did i know that I said it?  (Dramatic Pause for effect)

BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN TAPING EVERYTHING.

Apparently this is something I started recently.  I had a box delivered to me this morning from PUS Industries and it contained a bunch of VHS cassettes and little audio cassettes.  The first one I opened up was labeled:

Street Conversation #13

And there it was me telling someone to call my office and set it up with my people.  (paused again)

I just sighed.

I'm quite confused but I have been pretty busy by the amount of tapes in this box.  Ted is coming over later to help me go through them.  I still have not heard from Bryce (or maybe I have and it is on one of these tapes).  Apparently he still works at the office according to Ted.

Did I tell you yet about the ONION?