So Monday, Bryce and Frank Lister decided that we would go out after work for a drink. We head to the bar on Chestnut Street (totally not my scene but Bryce was buying so he got to pick. One word for you- abercrombie & Fitch douchebags who pump iron, smell of some odd foreign cologne and probably still live in their mother's basement). Anyway, we grab our drinks and sit down at a booth. The bar is so crowded that neither one of us can hear each other talking. I mean there were so many times that I thought Bryce looked at me and said that I smelled nice. Really odd, Bryce is a low talker anyway so that made it worse. The more I look at him, I really realize that he is kind of a dork who happens to work on the "cool in the senior in high school way" top floor. I, on the other hand, work on the "we got held back a grade and we are going to some special classes after graduation before getting good old american jobs" bottom floor of the company. but he should really be down here with us (frankly, I think I should be up their with them. Just ask my mother) But I digress. So, it's loud as all hell and we finally stop talking. All of the sudden Bryce's nose starts to bleed. It's freaking hilarious becasue he is wearing a pink shirt (YES A PINK SHIRT) and now the blood starts dripping on it and forming a rose shape. So NOW it looks like he is wearing a pink shirt with little roses over the boob part. Sort of like he has rose shaped man-boobs peeking out underneath the shirt. After a minute or so of blood shed, i decide to tell him that he has rose boobs and he runs off to the bathroom. My first thought while Bryce was gone was that he was the culprit. You know the blood on the wall. But then I remembered that it wasn't him. I'm convinced it's somone on MY floor. There are some people that have vendetta's against me because I don't allow certain things to go on with my documents, so there! So, while Bryce is at the bathroom, I look over and there is TED. Standing alone in the back of the bar by the bathroom where Bryce went. I hate this guy so far. So, our eyes met. And this is where it gets weird. So hang on.
Our eyes meet. At that moment, in that instant it was as if the entire bar stopped in time. Not a person was moving, or speaking or even breathing except me and TED. No time, no space. There was a fly stuck in the air and a drink floating in space about to crash all over some girls purple pear shaped pumps. There was nothing. Just me and Ted and what looked like a third of Bryce's head poking out of the bathroom door. And before I could really grasp hold out what was going on, Ted smiled at me in this weird shit-eating grin and then like someone plugged us back in; Bryce was back at the table with toilet paper stuck on the inside of his nose, the Bust A Move Young MC track was blaring, the people were swilling and spilling their beers all over the place. The douche bags were back in full effect. And Ted the Electric. Nowhere.
And now I really think I know where the blood came from.
This is where we go when we die
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